|Top Gear Margovya|
|No. of Episodes||12|
|Original Run||March 13 - June 5, 2015|
|Written by||Yelizaveta Vulvanova, Gavrina Kumilyova, Tanya Kalinina, Maria Atolova, Lev Arigov|
|Directed by||Adam Yaneyev|
|Top Gear Margovya chronology|
The twelfth series of the car magazine show Top Gear Margovya started airing on Let's Talk Margovya on March 13, 2015 following a nine-month unplanned hiatus resulting from the revelation that the channel and the show's director Marvik Vulvanov was receiving payments from the large Margovyan automotive corporations like Yakovich, Lubovenko, Andropov, and Khristenko in exchange for positive reviews of their cars on the show. Following the ensuing scandal, Vulvanov had been fired from the series and was replaced by Adam Yaneyev, a former assistant director in the show before leaving due to "personal differences" with the rest of the production staff.
Executive producer Yelizaveta Vulvanova also confirmed that the four presenters of the show (Gavrina Kumilyova, Tanya Kalinina, Maria Atolova, and Lev Arigov) have now been given even more freedom in making content for the show. Vulvanova also denied rumors that series 12 will be composed of the six episodes of series 11 that were not broadcast following the breaking of the "KLAY-LTM Scandal," saying that the six episodes contained reviews of at least six cars from the suspect companies, and that it would take time "that [they] didn't have" to reshoot the episodes to show their actual performance instead of what the group of companies would have wanted.
|Overall no.||No. in series||Reviews||Guest||Airdate|
|117||1||Ferrari 488, Skoda Yeti vs. Renault Captur, "Flying" Yakovich X5||Arya Nukova||March 13, 2015|
|Introduction: The presenters welcome a new era of TGM by apologizing for letting a bunch of car companies that will not be named (but with the presenters saying Yakovich, Andropov, Khristenko, and Lubovenko in between coughs) influence their reviews, and that now that the guilty parties are far away from their new production, they will now be giving out real, actual, unbiased reviews. To start off, they take their Power Laps board and begin removing the lap times of cars that they believe are not worthy of being on the board in the first place. The first casualty is the Yakovich X5, which is actually a plane according to Maria. Other cars removed from the board are:
Gavrina tries (unsuccessfully) to have the lap times of the Yakovich U2, Audi A1, Khristenko A1, Khristenko L-House, and the Khristenko E-Heads removed from the laps board because she hates the bands associated with the car names (U2, A1, Lifehouse and Eraserheads) but the other presenters manage to get her to put the lap times of the aforementioned cars back on the board, but only after a short chase around the studio.
They also debate on whether to remove the Yakovich WW3 from the board, since Gavrina feels that it was a car designed without a soul, but eventually she decides that the car not having a soul is punishment enough for it.
Main Review: Lev reviews the Ferrari 488. He revels in the fact that TGM is finally free from the shackles of the KLAY Consortium, and that they can now review the cars that they want and say what they actually think about the cars instead of following a script approved by the director and the consortium. He praises the 488's 3.9 liter twin-turbocharged V8, which produces 661 hp and can propel the car from 0 to 100 km/h in 3.0 seconds flat. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1.20.1.
Review/Challenge: Gavrina and Lev compare the Skoda Yeti and the Renault Captur. Gavrina sides with the Yeti, saying that with a 6-speed manual gearbox connected to a 158 hp-producing engine to produce a top speed of 200 km/h, and Lev takes on the Captur's cause, praising its 116 hp engine and its top speed of 192 km/h. The challenge is basically a repeat of the SEAT Leon vs. Chevrolet Orlando challenge of Series 10, Episode 7. But unlike that challenge, both presenters eventually agree that both cars were quite ineffective for the challenge.
Challenge: Maria and Tanya attempt to turn Tanya's Yakovich X5 into a working airplane after Maria admitted that the X5 has a tendency to lift off once it reaches high speed. The two of them work in conjunction with aeronautical engineers from Embraer to turn the X5 into an actual working airplane. However, since the project would be very risky for an actual human operator, they decide to first have the car operable by remote control. Finally, fitted with wings and vertical and horizontal stabilizers with working control surfaces such as ailerons, elevators, flaps, slats and rudder, Tanya, Maria and the Embraer engineers prepare to launch the "Flying Yakovich X5." The car-plane manages to take off from the runway of the Gaganovsky Aerodrome and completes a series of flying circuits, but when they attempt to land the car-plane, the ailerons malfunction and send the car-plane into an unrecoverable spin. Back in the studio, Tanya says, "Anton Yakovich should have designed [the X5] as a plane and not as a car!"
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Arya Nukova sits down with Tanya to talk about her life after becoming Senate President. She also plugs her upcoming film Three Agents, sequel to Three Girls: In Deep Sh*t. She drives the Fiat around the track in 1:49.59.
News: Tanya and Maria mock Gavrina and Lev for their show Arigov and Kumilyova Tonight, which filled in for part of the time slot suddenly vacated by TGM following their unexpected hiatus on June 27, 2014. They talk about how the controversy surrounding TGM and the KLAY Consortium may spell the end of the indigenous Margovyan automobile industry, since Minchev is now part of Volkswagen. They also discuss which cars from KLAY they actually liked, as opposed to what they were supposed to like according to "that guy's script." Lev warily discusses the coming release of the seventh generation of the Yakovich WW2, which he hopes "will have the engine of an Abrams tank if it wants to have a chance at redeeming itself to us."
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: Gavrina appears to be preparing to smash Tanya's guitar onto the studio floor, but instead she carefully lays it inside a carrying case held by Tanya, and then Gavrina says to the camera, "No more harassing of Tanya's guitar! That's part of that guy's KLAY-approved script!"
|118||2||Chevrolet Trailblazer, Yakovich X6 vs. light plane||Vasilisa Yeguntseva||March 20, 2015|
Main review: Gavrina reviews the Chevrolet Trailblazer. With an updated 2.8 liter engine producing 200 hp, it has a chance of becoming quite a successful SUV in Margovya following recalls of Andropov and Khristenko SUVs after the breaking of the KLAY-LTM scandal. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1:28.9.
Challenge: Gavrina, Tanya, Maria, and Lev attempt to bring a freshly caught fish from the Amazon River from Manaus to Ikulsk Tower (not to be confused with the Ikulsk Nuclear Tower) in Ikulsk. Gavrina and Lev took a Yakovich X6, which had been released during the series' hiatus, while Tanya and Maria flew to the Margovyan capital on Tanya's light plane, a Piper Seneca.
Gavrina drove the X6 while Lev carried the cooler with the freshly caught fish on his lap. During the drive, they talk about how the X6, while it was designed to beat both its predecessor the Yakovich X5 and the Bugatti Veyron in terms of speed and power, doesn't seem to be designed with anything else in mind. Gavrina sums it up with a quote: "The Veyron was made to push the boundaries of human engineering, while the X5 and the X6 were made by Anton Yakovich simply to give Margovya a bunch of world records, and that's about it, really."
Meanwhile, while Tanya flies her plane, Maria has the freshly caught fish in a cooler beside her. She isn't comfortable with the fact that Tanya has only just received her pilot's license mere days before the challenge was filmed, and then Tanya reveals to Maria that she doesn't have certification for night flight yet, so they are forced to land and take a train the rest of the way to Ikulsk. Despite this, Gavrina and Lev still manage to beat them by a few minutes. While eating the fish that they had brought, Gavrina and Lev admit that if the choice had been between the plane and the X6, they would have chosen the plane. Lev says that the X6 has no soul, like some of Yakovich's recent releases in the months leading up to the KLAY-LTM scandal. Tanya falls asleep after a long day of flying, and the others leave her behind in the restaurant.
News: They discuss the recent "fracas" involving original Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson, and how the scandal has similarities to what happened to them because of the KLAY Consortium. Lev claims that the facelifted version of the Lubovenko Beauty about to be released in a few months looks like "someone took a flamethrower and torched its already ugly front, sides, and backside." Gavrina adresses rumors of a potential third 377 kph film by saying, "Stay until after the credits finish. It's kind of like the Marvel stingers."
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Vasilisa Yeguntseva sits down with Maria to discuss recent developments in her acting career, how the political terrorist with the same name has made life a little bit more difficult for her, and some car history. She drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:51.3.
|119||3||Tesla P85D, Minchev Quadcar vs. free runners, Andropov K-Rigov vs. Leopard 1||Yordana Puevskaya||March 27, 2015|
Review/Challenge: Maria drives the second-generation Minchev Quadcar, the first car produced by Minchev after they were acquired by Volkswagen. She claims that the new Quadcar has the body of the first Quadcar and the chassis of a Mark 7 VW Golf, and that because of that the car handles like an "implausible mishmash" of the two cars it came from. Despite that, its 1.9-liter straight-four engine could deliver 180 horsepower for a top speed of 199 km/h, and that its handling is superb for a "large city car," as Minchev likes to market it. She races the Quadcar against two free-runners to the Ikulsk Nuclear Tower, and by the time she arrives at the finish line, the free-runners are already at the top of the tower.
News: The presenters confirm that the BBC has sacked Jeremy Clarkson following his "fracas" with one of the producers on the original Top Gear, with Gavrina lamenting that it is "the end of an era," and that they will never be able to replicate or recreate the experience of watching "three middle-aged men with the hearts and minds of ten-year-olds cocking about in cars." Tanya also suggests that with Zayn Malik announcing his departure from One Direction just hours after Clarkson's sacking, he and Clarkson might actually be planning to switch jobs, with Malik going to Top Gear and Clarkson becoming a singer for One Direction. Lev announces that Yakovich is about to release a Yakovich X5 Sport for 2015, and claims that Yakovich has supposedly fixed the problem of the car lifting up at high speed.
Main review: Gavrina is forced by Tanya to take the Tesla P85D out for a spin in an effort to convert her to the the view that electric cars are the future. Despite being an electric car, it has a whopping 691 hp, and goes from 0 to 100 km/h in just 3.2 seconds. However, because it is an electric car, by the time she reaches the top speed of 249 km/h, she will have run out of juice anyway. She does however say that it has its merits as an environmentally-friendly car, and that it might indeed be the car of the future. However, back in the studio, she still says that she would rather have a proper gasoline-burning car than the P85D because she can reach a gas car's top speed and keep on going. The Pimp takes the P85D around the track in 1:23.56.
Star in Reasonably Priced Car: Yordana Puevskaya sits down with Lev and talks about recent developments in her career since her first appearance on the show, and also to plug her new movie Three Agents. She drives around the track in 2:00.0 flat.
Challenge: Lev tries to determine if a Leopard 1 tank from the Margovyan Army can track and hit the new Andropov K-Rigov off-roader that he was almost forced to review before the KLAY scandal broke out. While the K-Rigov is "fairly decent" on the mud, ruts and forests of the Army tank training course, it is according to him "definitely worse than an equivalent Range Rover." Despite many tactics such as evasive driving and misdirection, the Leopard proves to be better because not only can it maintain its top speed on rough terrain, its turret can track the K-Rigov almost everywhere it goes, and it can also hide behind a smokescreen. The Leopard "takes out" Lev and the K-Rigov while he was driving down a straight part of the course to the finish line. Back in the studio, Lev is not present, and the remaining presenters congratulate the tank crew (which are in the studio along with their tank) for taking out Lev.
|120||4||2014 Yakovich X5, Joylong Majestic ambulance, Lotus Exige vs. Lubovenko Beauty||April 10, 2015|
Review: Maria swallows her pride and reviews the Yakovich X5 second generation, released in 2014 during the hiatus of TGM, and this time she doesn't have a script pre-approved by "KLAY". She even has the camera pan around the whole track to prove that there are no more minders from Yakovich to say when she should say something about the car. She says that since the second-gen X5 was released just days after the breaking of the KLAY-LTM scandal, the car is very much like its predecessor, with a few modifications such as a slightly bigger and more powerful engine (now capable of producing 1,025 hp) resulting in a higher top speed of 439.75 km/h, and a rear spoiler that nevertheless doesn't prevent the car from lifting up when it reaches at least 300 km/h. Also, because of the bigger engine, rear spoiler, and bigger tyres to supposedly cope with the new top speed, the second-gen X5 is now quite heavier than its predecessor at 925 kg. Still, despite the added weight, the car still has a tendency to lift its nose starting at 300 km/h. The Pimp drives the X5 around the track in 1:10.1, but then Maria disqualifies it from the Power Lap board because it is too low to safely pass over a speed bump. Gavrina takes the opportunity to also remove the Yakovich U2 from the board because she hates the band U2, but Maria manages to get her to put the U2 back on the board.
Challenge: The presenters are challenged to make a Joylong Majestic into a proper working ambulance after Lev once said that it would be suited to such a task back in series 9. The four of them got into a small dispute over how they would modify the Majestic, before the matter was eventually settled by the production staff telling them that their ambulance would have to look like an actual Margovyan ambulance, but not too much like it. Lev paints the sides of the ambulances in a green and yellow checkerboard pattern, similar to the yellow and blue checker pattern used by actual Margovyan ambulances. Maria takes care of the interior, removing most of the Majestic's seats except the front ones and then installing all the necessary paramedic equipment. Tanya and Gavrina meanwhile handled improving the Majestic's overall performance. They replace the factory-standard 2.48 liter diesel engine with a 3.0 liter petrol engine from the new Minchev Quadcar and install a nitrous oxide system to give the engine an additional boost in special circumstances.
Their first test is a power lap of the "Majestic Ambulance" around the track. However, the presenters must attempt to replicate the procedures done by the cast of Paramedics in the infamous "racing raging ambulance episode," and the dummy acting as their patient will deduct ten seconds from its "life clock" for every wrong step by the presenters. The Pimp drives as recklessly as the newbie driver in the infamous Paramedics episode, but the presenters successfully manage to perform all three procedures on the dummy, but the dummy's life clock runs out just as they cross the finish line.
The second test is an emergency response to a "meteor crashing into an airplane" in Ciudad del Celebridad Airport. There are two dummies at the site, one with a twenty-minute life clock and another with a ten-minute life clock. Their challege is to get both dummies to a hospital across town without their life-clocks running down. There is a penalty of ten seconds for every hard knock that the dummies experience, and there are also random events in which the dummies will require some medical attention that, if done properly, will give them an additional fifteen to twenty seconds of time on the life-clocks. Gavrina takes over driving duties from the Pimp and tries to use her knowledge in street racing and the streets of Ciudad del Celebridad to avoid heavy traffic areas and get to the hospital as fast as possible, although it doesn't work out exactly as she had planned. Meanwhile, while tending to the dummies, Maria wishes that Hafim was there to help them, but Lev replies that Talnaev knows as much about health as he does about education. Eventually, they make it to the hospital, although the ten-minute dummy has "died," and the twenty-minute dummy barely has a minute of "life" left when they wheel it into the emergency room. Back in the studio, Lev concludes that it is possible for a Joylong Majestic to become an ambulance, "but for the love of God, don't hire the four of us as paramedics!"
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Zosima Andivin sits down with Gavrina to talk about his basketball career, how the 1996 Pontival Piranhas air disaster changed his life forever, car history, and why Margovya is the only country in South America where basketball is more popular than football as a sport. He drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:54.7.
News: The Andropov K-hristenko and the Lubovenko 30 fourth-generation concept car are discussed. Tanya also reveals that a clip of Maria dancing along to Sia Furler's "Chandelier" inside Tanya's Piper Seneca during the Yakovich X6 vs. light plane race of episode 2 is now available online on TGM's official website and its official YouTube channel.
Challenge: Tanya has an impartial panel of judges that had once been judges for Miss Margovya contests try and decide which is more beautiful: the Lubovenko Beauty and the Lotus Exige. Tanya claims that she is going through this to "cleanse [herself] of the lies that she told about the Beauty back when [the KLAY Consortium] had [Top Gear Margovya] in their iron grip." Tanya told the judges about the positives of both cars, including aesthetics, obviously trying to show that the consortium had a point when they made her say that the Beauty could win the Big Four beauty pageants. But in a secret ballot, it was eventually revealed that all the judges unanimously voted for the Exige, with no judge casting a vote in favor of the Beauty.
|121||5||Aston Martin Vulcan, Peugeot RCZ vs. Saturn Ion vs. BMW E46 vs. Minchev Compact||April 17, 2015|
Main review: Lev is given a once-in-a-lifetime chance to test-drive the new Aston Martin Vulcan, which will be released as a limited edition vehicle, with only 24 cars being made for $2.3 million each. With a 7-liter V12 engine capable of producing 800 hp, it has, according to Lev, "a sort of unbridled power that you only get to sense in one out of a thousand, two thousand cars." But since Aston Martin has not released an official top speed for the car, the production team is urged to not take videos of the speedometer, or at least keep the resulting footage top secret until after the official release of the Vulcan. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1:19.2, but then Gavrina reveals that the Vulcan is a track-only sports car, meaning it cannot get safely over a speed bump and is therefore ineligible for a lap time. She also takes the opportunity to try to remove the Yakovich U2's lap time, but Lev spots it and puts it back himself, this time adding glue to the back of the lap time strip to make sure that Gavrina can't tamper with it anymore.
Challenge: The four presenters take out their coupes for a drive and find the best road in Margovya. Their first candidates are the Northern and Southern Margovyan Expressways, but then they dismiss them because "everyone likes those expressways." They sample lots of other roads in Margovya, but they dismiss them for all sorts of reasons. Finally, in a small corner of Santa Agnessa near the border with Brazil, they finally conclude that the little-known Route 7064 connecting Santa Agnessa to the Brazilian border is the best road in Margovya, offering stunning views of nature and wildlife even as they drive down the asphalt tackling beautiful corners and driving through slightly-used tunnels and listening to the roar of their engines. Back in the studio, the presenters do recommend to go down Route 7064 in a sports car, so that the sound of the engines is less pitiful than those that their coupes made.
News: They discuss some recent developments in local road policing, such as new regulations requiring high-visibility jackets for motorcycle drivers, owners, and riders, as well as the "infamous" case of the short 20-year-old who was pulled over by police because they thought he was a child driving a car, and then subsequently discovered to have at least two kilograms of mixed illegal drugs in the trunk of his car. They also discuss some new pictures of the upcoming third-generation Yakovich X5, which shows some racecar drivers surrounding the car. However, Lev points out that one of the drivers looks "excited" about the X5, and in the official photo uploaded to the Yakovich website, all the drivers have been moved to behind the car to disguise the driver's "excitement."
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Original Interceptors star Simon Shevchenko sits down with Tanya to talk about his movie and TV career, what he thinks of the new Interceptors, and his car history. He drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:45.3.
|122||6||2015 Yakovich M57 Concept, Peterbilt 387, Lubovenko Fallopia||Godofredo||April 24, 2015|
Main review: Tanya reviews the recently released 2015 Yakovich M57 concept car. Bearing the name of one of the most popular, if not the most popular sports cars in Margovya, Tanya says that it has a lot of history to live up to, and she thinks this will be a particularly hard feat to pull off especially since Yakovich is still recovering from the backlash of the KLAY-LTM scandal. Tanya does note with pleasure that Anton Yakovich himself had designed the new M57, taking design cues from some of the old M57s and mixing them with the styles of today, up to and including the Lamborghini Murcielago and the Aston Martin Vanquish. However, since it is a concept car, she has no idea of what kind of horsepower and top speed it actually has, and whether it will actually be put in production following the scandal. But she sees hope for both the car and Yakovich in the near future. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1:20.6. The concept car in that power lap used a 5.1 liter V10 from the Yakovich U2, and was reported to have achieved a top speed of 301.9 km/h on TGM's straight track.
News: Lev starts off the news by announcing the results of the Copa Margoviana semifinals, which saw Sta. Conrada FC get defeated by Casinovich United by 5-0, and Celebridades FC grinded out an extra-time victory against rivals Banananovich City 3-1. The presenters also discuss the RBI's raid of a private compound in Lev's native Ulyanovsk in Teneriyov and discovering dozens of illegally imported cars from all brands.
Challenge: Gavrina and Maria now want to see if a truck can jump over two buses. They take two Yakovich M78 buses formerly of Margovyan Rabbit out of storage and park them lengthwise between two large ramps. The truck they had selected to make this challenge is the Peterbilt 387, a reliable truck that accounts for 12 percent of all cargo trucks in Margovya. TGM Stunt Man is back in action, and he drives the Peterbilt up the ramp and over the two buses. However, because the Peterbilt's engine is mounted on the front of the chassis, it inevitably causes the truck to tip forward and crash into the second bus. TGM Stunt Man is once again brought back to the Ruslan Dumayev Memorial Hospital, where Gavrina claims he is currently enjoying "some kind of tasteless rice porridge stuff."
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Godofredo sits down with Maria and talks about his recent car history, his short-lived career as manager of SL Benfica, and his reaction that his old team Sta. Conrada FC had been conclusively beaten by Margovyan Second League team Casinovich United in the Copa Margoviana semifinals. He drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:48.7.
Review/Challenge: Lev reviews the Lubovenko Fallopia, a car released alongside the controversial Lubovenko Clitoris. Lev considers the Fallopia as "overlooked," because it has been overshadowed by its more controversial cousin following the breaking of the KLAY-LTM scandal. With a 4.5-liter V8 engine producing 599 hp, it has a top speed of an estimated 295 km/h, and Lev manages to take the Fallopia to 288.95 km/h on TGM's straight track. During the 2015 Dakar Rally (which ironically was held in South America and not the Middle East due to security concerns), Lubovenko's rally racing team gained recognition when famous Margovyan rally racer Fyodor Kiselev used a Fallopia modified for rally racing to steer his team to first place in the Antofagasta to Valparaiso leg of the rally. Lev drives the exact same Fallopia rally car against a Subaru Impreza WRX, one of the most popular rally cars in recent history, on the Andrey del Quiev Memorial Rally Circuit in Svelovsk, Ikanua. Lev and the Fallopia lose to the Impreza by 2.6 seconds, with the Impreza recording a lap time of 2:37.0 as opposed to Lev's 2:39.6. Back in the studio, Lev recommends "at least giving [the Fallopia] a try--it's not as hellishly bad as the Clitoris or the Beauty."
|123||7||2015 Yakovich S6969 GT, 1979 Yakovich M57 GT, 1988 Khristenko A999 Turbo, 1980 Lubovenko LUBO Sport, 1990 "Billingshurst" Roadrunner, Chery E5||Myles Kennedy||May 1, 2015|
Main review: Gavrina reviews the 2015 Yakovich S6969 GT, released just a year or two after the S6969 Turbo Sport. Despite being one of the cars supposedly involved in the KLAY scandal, the S6969 GT is actually a good car, being not too fast nor far too sluggish. Gavrina praises the looks of the car, which the Yakovich website claims "was inspired by the design of modern gran turismo cars in the world." She also says that the engine noise is one of the best she's ever heard, comparing it to the Jaguar F-Type that she reviewed last series and which she famously claimed sounded like a person reaching orgasmic climax. The Pimp drives the S6969 GT around the track in 1:26.1.
News: Tanya shows off some license plates with letter combinations that had been recently banned by the Margovyan Transportation Regulation and Licensing Commission. The plates include gems such as those with A5S or 4S5 (for the buttocks), B0O8S (for mammary glands), and I5I5 or 1S1S (for the Islamic State). Lev says that someone with either I5I5 or 1S1S on their plates could potentially park right in front of the Margovyan Palace and still be able to come back to the car, which has not been towed away due to supposed fears of being a car bomb. Gavrina meanwhile laments that the MTRLC did not ban the custom license plate R0L4ND (for Roland, the license plate of Tanya's Aleko from the Russian Far East Special), and Tanya reacts to Gavrina's comment.
Challenge: The presenters were told to buy a Margovyan supercar for just 10,000 margots, as claimed by numerous "dubious" classified ads on newspapers. Gavrina manages to get her hands on a 1979 Yakovich M57 GT that all of the presenters had been eyeing for a period of time, and so the others were forced to find other cars. Maria bought a 1988 Khristenko A999 Turbo with a problematic engine; Tanya bought a 1980 Lubovenko LUBO Sport with nearly-useless brakes, and Lev bought a 1990 Billingshurst Roadrunner that constantly requires jump-starting.
The presenters were sent to Aladin Balkonovich Race Track in Nueva Navarra, Sugalskaya, where they were told to beat a 1:59.0 lap time made by the Pimp in a Ford Crown Victoria. All the presenters failed to beat the Crown Victoria's lap, and even the Pimp was not able to do it when he was the one driving the vehicles. Because of this, the presenters' cars were tested on a rolling road to measure how many horsepower their cars' engines had lost. All four cars had lost a considerable number of horsepower, and then Lev discovered that his Roadrunner was not actually powered by a Billingshurst 4.2-liter V8 from Peru but the factory-standard Minchev 3.9-liter V6 (Billingshurst was considered a luxury marque in 1990s Margovya, and the former owner of Lev's Roadrunner had decided to replace the Minchev marque on his car to Billingshurst to boost its market price.)
Then the presenters were told to perform a quick and standard DIY fix on their cars involving changing the oil and replacing some spark plugs. Lev and Gavrina finished almost at the same time, with Lev declaring the fix done just a second before Gavrina did. Tanya was the next to finish the job, while Maria was still draining the oil ten minutes after Tanya had left the garage. Then they were all told to parallel-park their supercars in a busy Casinovich street, which attracted a lot of attention and caused some traffic disturbances in the surrounding area. Gavrina parked the fastest, Maria and Lev finished at almost the same time (with Maria beating Lev by 0.25 seconds) and Tanya was the slowest, Gavrina and Maria having conspired to make her parking space a little bit smaller.
In the final drive from Casinovich to Arbatskaya City, the presenters' cars began malfunctioning in spectacular fashion, causing a massive traffic jam on the Sugalskaya-Arbatskaya Expressway. Back in the studio, Gavrina announced that while it was possible to buy a Margovyan supercar for just 10,000 margots, "please don't."
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: American singer-songwriter Myles Kennedy of Alter Bridge is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. He sits down with Lev and promotes his band's South American tour, which include stops in Ikulsk, Arbatskaya City and Ciudad del Celebridad, and he also talks about his career and car history. He drove the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:34.6.
Challenge: Maria takes a Chery E5 and tries to reach a supermarket where Tanya is buying her groceries. The objective for Maria is to park the car in the lot before Tanya comes out with her groceries, which she claims takes her an estimated thirty minutes. Maria's starting point is at the gate leading to the TGM aerodrome, and she must navigate a five-kilometer course that would take her through some of Ciudad del Celebridad's notorious heavy-traffic areas. Despite some of Tanya's essential groceries being suddenly out of stock on that day and the traffic in Ciudad del Celebridad being unusually light, Maria still ended up late by ten minutes and forty seconds, according to Tanya who had actually been waiting for Maria to arrive in a car and drive her back to her house in Ciudad del Celebridad.
|124||8||BMW Z4, Mazda3, Hyundai Accent, Suzuki Swift, Ford Focus||Luciano Bastos||May 8, 2015|
Challenge: The presenters embark on what is probably their most ambitious challenge yet: searching for the true source of the Amazon River. They had survived the Philippines, the Russian Far East, the Pan-American Highway, The Run and drifting, but could they survive searching for the true source of the Amazon? For starters, they get into a discussion on what constitutes a river's source. The commonly accepted source of the Amazon is somewhere on the Nevado Mismi, but since the river that actually comes from the glacier is the Apurimac and not the Amazon itself the presenters are not sure where to look for the "true" source of the Amazon.
Before setting off on their journey, they were told by the producers to buy a car, preferably a hatchback, as long as it was not designed for off-roading. Lev arrives at their meeting place in Manaus first with a Ford Focus, followed closely by Maria in a Mazda3. Gavrina arrives in a Suzuki Swift, and Tanya brings up the rear with a Hyundai Accent. their objective is to follow the path of the Amazon up to where it separates into its tributaries, and then follow the path of the tributary that looks the longest. After an arduous trek through roads that had not felt the weight of a vehicle on its tarmac for half a century and virgin jungles that have not been fully explored by mankind since the beginning of their existence. Eventually the quartet arrive at the foot of the Peruvian Andes, and they begin the perilous trek up the side of a mountain where a stream that flowed into the Amazon was. Eventually their cars broke down because the mountainous terrain was well beyond the capabilities of their cars, and so they countinued their search on foot. Maria ends up being the one who literally stumbles upon a small watering hole in the mountainside that appears to feed the stream that would eventually become the Amazon river. She dips her fingers into the water and washes her face with it, calling it the "life-blood of South America." The presenters then plant the flags of Margovya and Top Gear Margovya beside the waterhole and pose like Victorian-era explores, with Lev cradling a shotgun to complete the faux-historical effect.
Review: Maria reviews the BMW Z4 (E89). The version she is reviewing has a turbocharged straight-six 2.979-liter engine capable of producing 335 hp and powering the car to 250 km/h and 0 to 100 in 4.6 seconds. She says that the new Z4 is "all right, for a roadster," but she doesn't recommend it as a family car. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1:28.3.
News: Lev tries to get the crowd excited for the 2015 Copa America before finally admitting that "it would just be another chance for Margovya to hilariously fail to make an impact in South American football." Meanwhile, Gavrina claims that the Alfa Romeo 4C may soon become available in South America. Maria and Tanya talk about the Margovyan Rabbit bus that broke down right in the middle of a rail crossing in Tanya's native Alakdanovich, Quintin del Pan. Luckily the bus had been fully evacuated before a Margovyan National Railways train collided with it.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Retired Brazilian footballer Luciano Bastos, who played for Arsenal Remontadov as a striker from 1990 to 2004, is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. He reminisces about his team's glory days in the Margovyan Premier League before becoming a mid-table team just a few years after his retirement. He also discusses some car history with Gavrina and asks her what she thinks of the chances of Caritas Sta. Susana, the football team from her native Sta. Susana Province, surviving in the Margovyan Premier League after gaining promotion from the Margovyan Second League just a week ago. Bastos drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:40.1.
|125||9||Volkswagen Up, IAME Justicialista, Aurora 122-C, Minchev Anarchy||Fadia Serova||May 15, 2015|
Review: Lev reviews the Volkswagen Up. As a city car, it produces a "comparatively pitiful" 74 hp from its 1-liter straight-three engine, and it has a "positively tortoise-like" top speed of 171 km/h, and can go from 0 to 100 km/h in 13.2 seconds. Lev claims that this is all right for a city car, because it's meant for the city, where at most it will reach a top speed of 50 to 60 km/h. It was not meant to be a fast car, a racing car, or a sports car, and that to Lev is the end of the story. The Pimp drives the Up around the track in 1:40.0 flat.
Challenge: Gavrina and Maria are in a dispute about whether South America ever made a good car. Gavrina thinks that South America has made a good, actually at least a dozen in her opinion; but Maria thinks that the number of good cars that South America made could be counted on the hand of a double amputee. Gavrina directs Maria's attention to the Yakovich M57, which general consensus says is one of the best cars if not the best car that Anton Yakovich had ever made. But then Maria dropped the bombshell that for the purpose of their discussion, they cannot nominate a Margovyan car as a good South American car because "then [they] would be biased."
With the challenge set, Gavrina goes to Argentina while Maria heads for Brazil in search of a good South American car. They both look at offerings from the local brands, and they try to use their best judgment in choosing what they see to be the best South American-made car. Gavrina ends up choosing the IAME Justicialista, a car that was made on the orders of the Argentine dictator Juan Domingo Peron in order to start a local car industry in Argentina. Meanwhile, Maria settles for the Aurora 122-C, a three-year, $3 million Brazilian project which was first presented at the 1990 Sao Paulo Motor Show.
During the drive back to their meeting point, Gavrina and Maria begin talking about their selected cars' characteristics. According to Gavrina, since the Justicialista was made in the 1950s, it feels like a modern city car, except much smaller and quite a bit underpowered. With an 800 cc engine capable of producing only 36 hp and a top speed of 120 km/h on a steep downward incline, it might as well be one of Tanya's motorcycles according to Gavrina, but despite all that she has developed a liking to it. Meanwhile, Maria is gushing about the positives of the Aurora. It was inspired by the Ferrari F40, and is powered by a General Motors engine improved from 2.0 liters to 2.2 liters and fitted with a turbocharger that now makes it capable of 214 hp and 155 km/h. But then after listing those positives Maria runs out of things to say.
Arriving at their agreed meeting point, Gavrina and Maria express disappointment at having chosen vastly different types of car because then they wouldn't be able to compare which car is better because obviously the sports car would be miles better than the ordinary car. Finally, both girls decide that as a draw, both the Justicialista and the Aurora were the good South American cars.
News: The presenters discuss the truck of coffee beans that turned over in Sta, Susana, causing heavy traffic jams and general chaos in Gavrina's hometown of Yubadevsk. Gavrina quips that Sta. Susana has to construct "less curvy roads to prevent this sort of thing from happening again." They also discuess Bolivia's threatened boycotting of all Margovyan goods and services following the recent MNBN leaks of the supposed plot of The Interceptors: Plan Yellow. Tanya remarks that no one has thought it strange that recently, their news segments are including less and less cars and road vehicles in general.
Review/Challenge: Lev takes out the Minchev Anarchy after one viewer sent in a letter claiming that Top Gear Margovya is not what it used to be anymore. To prove that TGM is still what it used to be, Lev takes the Anarchy, known in Margovya as the "Hatchback of the Past" because of its retro looks, through what appears to be a serious road test, gauging its practicality, fuel economy, ride comfort and general enjoyment. He judges the Anarchy "adequate" for the task. Throughout these tests, Lev says that the Anarchy's top speed is 120 km/h, the top speed according to Margovyan law. Then the driving tests become more ridiculous with Lev taking the Anarchy through a "tight curves track test" inside a mall while being chased by Pimps in Hyundai i10s. The driving test ends with Lev and the Anarchy participating in a Margovyan Army paratrooper exercise. The Anarchy, with a vehicular parachute attached to its roof, is launched out of an Army Ilyushin Il-76, and the parachute successfully deploys and allows the Anarchy to land safely on the Army test range. Back in the studio, Lev claims that the whole point of the test is to show the viewers why they should drive safely.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Interceptors star Fadia Serova is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. She sits down with Maria and talks about her success with the series and how it had changed her life, along with some obligatory car history. She drives the Fiat 500 around the track in 1:42.8.
|126||10||Mazda CX-7, Yakovich WTF, Andropov K-tolov||Yefrem Dragunov||May 22, 2015|
Main review: Gavrina reviews the Mazda CX-7. As Mazda's first mid-size SUV since 1994, Gavrina is not sure of what to think about the vehicle, except that it handles well enough to be a family car, and that it is definitely not meant to be either an off-roader or a modified street racing car. With engine options limited to 161 hp straight-four and 244 hp straight-four turbo, the CX-7 is good enough for the family person who has given up hope of ever owning a proper car, and nothing more. The Pimp drives it around the track in 1:45.5.
Challenge: The gang get together in Urbanovsk, Urbanduva for the first ever South American Convention on Self-Made Cars. The TGM hosts take out their prized Yakovich "WTF" out of storage and enter it in the SUV category. However, the contest doesn't begin on a high note for the hosts as their WTF came in last place out of 24 entrants for the "looks" contest. One of the judges even went so far as to claim that the WTF "looks like a half-melted Lubovenko Beauty that crashed into a half-melted Lubovenko Clitoris that had just crashed into a totally wrecked Lubovenko Fallopia."
The WTF fares a little better in the "performance" contest as Lev deftly slides the WTF through a series of objects and obstacles that are reminiscent of the Autocross segment of the Battle of the Car Shows episode of TGM Series 9, managing to net 3rd place out of 35 competitors. But it is in the "race" contest where the WTF really shines, and Gavrina uses the WTF's 3.7 liter V6 engine from the W150 to gain first place out of 40 racers and win the Fastest Self-Made SUV award for the WTF and TGM. Back in the studio, the quartet admits that while the WTF had been made out of cars that had been produced by the KLAY era, they (meaning the presenters) were able to mix all the individual cars to create one very good car.
Review/Challenge: Maria takes the Andropov K-tolov for yet another fuel economy test after receiving a few irate letters from some angry viewers claiming that the K-tolov is actually a fuel-economic car. Maria gets a full tank for the K-tolov and then does everything she can to consume the fuel in as little time as possible. To do this, she drives very fast down the South Margovyan Superhighway and even enters some street racing competitions. After that she uses the K-tolov to do some shopping and groceries, and she manages to drive the K-tolov back to the TGM test track just as it runs out of fuel. Back in the studio, Maria calculates that the K-tolov may actually be a good fuel-efficient car, but since she doesn't know how to calculater miles per gallon or kilometers per liter she will leave the conclusion to the audience. However, she does add that the K-tolov is actually better at drifting than the Andropov K-Drift, which makes her wonder whether Andropov simply misnamed his cars during the days of the KLAY era.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Yefrem Dragunov is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. He sits down with Tanya and talks about the success of There's the Way, Where's the Will?, where they are costars. He also talks about his life after the events of 1998, along with some car history. Dragunov drives the Fiat around the TGM track in 1:35.78.
Top Gear Margovya Series 12 Awards
|127||11||Extended Episode 1 introduction, Yakovich X6 vs. light plane deleted scenes, extended Andropov K-Rigov vs. Leopard 1, Cheap supercars challenge deleted scenes, Minchev Anarchy anarchy, Total War: Rome II special promotional footage||N/A||May 29, 2015|
Extended Episode 1 introduction: Focuses almost entirely on the argument between the hosts about whether they should also remove the lap times of the Yakovich U2, Audi A1, Khristenko A1, Khristenko L-House and Khristenko E-Heads following the "opening of a new era" for TGM. Highlights include an extended chase between Gavrina and Maria, Tanya and Lev for the lap times of the aforementioned cars, which Gavrina had removed before taking them on the wild goose chase.
Yakovich X6 vs. light plane deleted scenes: These deleted scenes include an extended version of Lev and Gavrina's discussion about the X6 being made simply to give Margovya a bunch of world records, extended conversation between Tanya and Maria about proper airplane safety with references to their film Flight 4892, a few more conversations between Lev and Gavrina in the X6, and finally what was going through Tanya's mind while Maria was dancing to Chandelier in the back of her plane.
Extended Andropov K-Rigov vs Leopard 1: Some more action shots of both the K-Rigov and the Leopard in action throughout the race, and shows how the tank crew managed to lock on to Lev's K-Rigov (although this footage was heavily edited because of the sensitive nature of the tank crew's technology) and take out the vehicle. Also includes some behind-the-scenes footage showing the TGM production crew setting up the shot for both the tank and the camera, and Lev watching as the Leopard tank destroyed the K-Rigov with its main gun.
Cheap supercars challenge deleted scenes: Features extended car searching for the presenters, arguments between the presenters after Gavrina buys the 1979 Yakovich M57 GT, extended parking challenge and extended supercar breakdown sequence.
Minchev Anarchy anarchy: Features extended chase through the mall with the Pimps in Hyundais and extended Anarchy paratrooper sequence.
Total War: Rome II special promotional footage: Shot back in 2014 as part of a planned promotion of the release of Total War: Rome II, this special footage shows the four TGM hosts in a variety of equipment dating back to the time of the Roman Republic and Roman Empire. Its main content is a TGM-esque challenge in which the presenters, along with guest Vasilisa Yeguntseva (the actress), attempt to shoot arrows at a cardboard cutout of Anton Yakovich, Methuselah Khristenko, Fyodor Lubovenko and Karim Andropov. The first attempt is by Maria and Vasilisa shooting arrows at the cutouts on foot. The second attempt is with Vasilisa shooting arrows on horseback with Tanya as the jockey. Third is Vasilisa firing arrows from a reproduction chariot being driven by Gavrina. Finally, Lev drives into the scene with a technical with Vasilisa manning the machine gun, and she proceeds to mow down the cardboard cutouts of the heads of the KLAY companies.
|128||12||N/A||Irina Rasapinskaya, Yehoshua Rosenberger, Conrada Cortesova, Tungburgshan Shungarhanbayev, Fyodor Kiselev, German Orfanov||June 5, 2015|
Note: This episode is composed entirely of the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segments from the cancelled episodes of Series 11. The track segments have all been filmed in the past year, while the interview segments in the studios were filmed after the production of the current series.
Irina Rasapinskaya (Prominent Margovyan actress): 1:40.4
Yehoshua Rosenberger (Israeli former basketball player and current Sugalskaya Gamblers head coach): 1:43.0
Conrada Cortesova (Prominent Margovyan
Fyodor Kiselev (Margovyan rally car driver): 1:29.3
German Orfanov (Renowned Margovyan producer and scriptwriter): 1:54.3