|Top Gear Margovya|
|Original Run||January 8, 2010 - March 26, 2010|
|Written by||Yelizaveta Vulvanova|
|Directed by||Yulian Markovsky|
|Top Gear Margovya chronology|
The third series of the television series Top Gear Margovya premiered on January 8, 2010 and concluded on March 26, 2010. It contained twelve episodes, including its first two-part special, the Top Gear Margovya: Philippine Special.
|Overall no.||No. in series||Reviews||Guest||Airdate|
|18||1||Lubovenko LIC75, Ford Expedition, Yakovich "Cheap-O Car-O"||Teddyevsky||January 8, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews her newly-acquired Ford Expedition, which she bought for only 400 margots after a computer malfunction occurred. Gavrina, wearing the Pimp's gas mask (the Pimp was absent due to an unknown sickness caused by eating chocolate, at least according to the hosts), tests Tanya's Expedition on the Top Gear Margovya test track, and posted a lap time of 1:23.7, after which she crashed the car to insult Tanya. Gavrina and Maria review the Lubovenko LIC75, and try to drive it down a 20-kilometer slippery freeway filled with oil slicks.
Challenge: The trio has to buy a car with only 500 margots, due to budget problems, to which Tanya said "I would've been okay with my 400-margot Expedition until you svoloch (Gavrina) destroyed it!". Tanya bought a twentieth-hand Yakovich K50 (a 1975 model) for only 468 margots, Gavrina acquired a very old and rusty Yakovich J600 (a 1969 model) for only 492 margots, and Maria bought a semi-broken Yakovich I-AM (a 1955 model) for only 297 margots. They test it along a 20-kilometer freeway, in which Tanya posted a lap time of 7:13.8, Gavrina made it in 8:46.2, and Maria's car broke down before even finishing the freeway course.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Margovyan rapper and recording artist Fyodor "Teddyevsky" Ramosov sits down with Gavrina and talks about his rapping career, his slow abilities in "almost everything", including walking, running, eating, driving, etc., and his future plans in running for a political position. Ramosov drove around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 4:42.9, the slowest lap time ever posted in Top Gear Margovya to date.
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: Top Gear's most popular running gag-segment, Harassing Tanya's Guitar was introduced in this episode. Tanya plays her rendition of "Jessica", the show's opening song, due to aforementioned budget cuts using her personalized guitar (built by Shevchenko Custom Instruments), but in the middle of the song, Gavrina stops the music, declares that she doesn't like it (the guitar, not Tanya's rendition), and proceeds to kick the guitar from Tanya's hands, and using it as a football, with Maria kicking it towards a hastily erected "goal" in the studio.
Trivia: After Tanya's guitar was "harassed", Tanya shouted the now famous line "My guitar!", a reference to the movie I Heart Rock and Roll, where her character said it at the final scene when her bandmates smashed her guitar during a fight. However, the aforementioned line became more popular in Top Gear Margovya, as Tanya's guitar was harassed multiple times.
|19-20||2-3||Honda Civic, Toyota Revo, Chevrolet Cruze||None||January 15/22, 2010|
|Main Article: Top Gear Margovya: Philippine Special
Part One: Gavrina, Tanya, and Maria are in the Philippines to prove that buying a car is cheaper than renting one. They were given PHP 30,000 to purchase a car of their choice, but before they do that, they must first go to the Land Transportation Office and obtain Philippine drivers' licenses, as the Philippine and Margovyan governments had not yet approved the use of Margovyan driving licenses in the Philippines. After
Their goal for the first part of the special was to get used to the "Philippine way of driving", and to do this they had to do the following:
The trio choose to take Kennon Road to Baguio, as it is both scenic and the quicker route to the city. While visiting the Lion's Head, Tanya has to do her businees behind some bushes which lead to a cliff with a fifty-meter drop. Maria adds more red crosses to Tanya's Civic, just to make the message clear. They finally arrive in Baguio, where they are awestruck by the incongruity of houses hanging to the sides of mountains. During their stay, they accepted a gig to play in one of Session Road's many bars, and when they visited Camp John Hay, Tanya was very enamored with a Barrel man, and Maria heard her wishing that someone would make a life-sized version of the barrel man with Roland Tidzhomov's "wedding vegetables". The fight that inevitably followed was only broken up after Gavrina and three security guards managed to separate Maria and Tanya, but just an hour later, the two were friends again.
The Philippine Special ends with the girls driving back to Manila via SCTEX, but before the credits roll, they are told to head to an abandoned road circuit, where the Pimp's Philippine cousin (wearing a white Barong Tagalog and a gas mask) will drive their cars around the circuit. Gavrina's Revo goes around the track in 1:16.0, Maria's Cruze does it in 1:12.9, and after reluctantly getting into Tanya's plague-ridden Civic, the Pimp's Philippine cousin drives it around the abandoned track in 1:14.5. The special's ending shot is that of Tanya heading into a Mercury Drug, supposedly to find some medicine for her diarrhea. Introduction of the Pimp's Philippine Special (by Gavrina): "Some say that he belives there are no miracles, and that you are his only treasure. All we know is, he's not the Pimp, but he is the Pimp's Philippine cousin!"
|21||4||Yakovich V500, Yamahova Motor-X||Yelena Porsenko||January 29, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews the Yakovich V500, which has a top speed of 383 kilometers per hour and can go from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. The Pimp drives it around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 1:26.9.
Challenge: The girls test their balancing skills by driving a Yamahova Motor-X on a 1 kilometer-long steel beam that's only 75 mm wide. Tanya reaches 468 meters, Gavrina reaches 702 meters, while Maria reaches 746 meters, making her the winner of the challenge. However, it was revealed that they have to beat the Pimp's record of 909 meters, which actually means that they all lost the challenge.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Tramvitum Representative (now Senator) Yelena Porsenko sits down with Tanya and talks about her political career, her acting career, and her band, The Three Yelenas, together with Yelena Abashina and Yelena Vyzhinsky, which just disbanded on August 24, 2009. Porsenko drove around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 2:04.5.
|22||5||Yakovich V600, Kravenko TS45, Yamahova SUPN||Arya Nukova||February 5, 2010|
|Main Review: Gavrina reviews the Yakovich V600, which is so far the most expensive sports car that has ever been out in the market (with a street value of about 3.3 million margots, as mentioned in the ninth episode of the second series). It can go from 0 to 100 in about 3.8 seconds, and has a top speed of 385 kilometers per hour. The Pimp drives it around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 1:19.7.
Challenge Part 1: Tanya reviews the Kravenko TS45, the fastest non-Yakovich sports car ever been made in Margovya (with a top speed of 389 kilometers per hour), and tries to drive it down a twenty-kilometer freeway in less than one minute. However, she declared that it was "implausible", since a top speed of 389 kph can only go about 6 to 7 kilometers in under one minute, so the producers modified the track so it was only five kilometers long instead of twenty. However, Tanya was still unable to pass the challenge due to Gavrina constantly interrupting her. She finishes the five-kilometer freeway course in 1:06.4.
Challenge Part 2: Gavrina and Maria review the Yamahova SUPN, which made Gavrina think of now Incumbent Senate President Arya Nukova (since Gavrina believed that SUPN stood for "Shut Up, Private Nukova!"). Gavrina and Maria try to drive the motorcycle on a roller coaster track; however, they fell down upon reaching the loop-de-loop.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Senator (now Senate President) Arya Nukova sits down with Tanya, and talked about her political career, her military career, and the reason/s why she had never been promoted from Private for about two years. She also discussed about the 2008 film Birth of the Margovyan Vogue, where she played former President Susana Bulshitova; the car magazine show Cars of Margovya, where she was among its last batch of hosts (alongside with Viktoriya Vegova. Irina Adzhitekova, and Iosef Dimakulanov); and the band Not so Socialist, where she was a former back-up singer and guitarist. She also talked about the reason/s why she left the band, and performed "Narito Ako". Nukova drove around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 1:58.0.
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: The segment Harassing Tanya's Guitar returns for the second time in this episode, but Tanya's guitar was wrecked in a more violent way this time. While attempting to distract Tanya from doing her Five kilometers under one minute challenge successfully, Gavrina throws Tanya's guitar at Tanya, who was driving her Kravenko TS45. Tanya attempted to catch the guitar with her hands, but it missed Tanya and crashed on the car's window, destroying both the guitar and the window.
Trivia: While Arya Nukova was performing "Narito Ako" during the SIARPC interview, someone from the audience was heard throwing up, which according to some of the producers, was former Senate President Conrada Cortesova.
|23||6||Chevrolet Camaro, BMW E87, Car-froggy||Genrikh Antonov||February 12, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews the Chevrolet Camaro. Gavrina reviews her BMW E87, which she bought from the Philippines for only 70,000 Philippine pesos (about 125,000 margots) after "negotiating" with the handsome car dealer. The Pimp tests both cars on the test track, where they posted lap times of 1:19.0 and 1:28.6, respectively |
Challenge: Maria's "Car-froggy" returns as the girls have to load their cars with members of the Margovyan Navy and drive from the Amazona pass in Fyodorov, Quintin del Pan to the only Margovyan naval base inside Margovya, in Llamadovskaya, Pontival via the Amazon River. To top it off, they have to go slower than Teddyevsky, who did it in 1 hour 12 minutes and 44 seconds. Tanya makes it in 48:07, Gavrina makes it in 54:05, and Maria makes it in exactly one hour. Interestingly, none of them beat Teddyevsky's time.
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Former President and Cars of Margovya host Genrikh Antonov sits down with Gavrina and talks about his political career, which included his loss in the 1978 Senatorial Elections, and in the 1983, 1986, and 1989 Presidential Elections. He also talked about his life during the Pink Hellish Senate, his candidacy for Senate President, and his term as President of Margovya. Antonov also talked about Cars of Margovya, where he spent the longest time as a presenter. Antonov drove around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 1:43.0.
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: During Gavrina's turn in the challenge, she dropped Tanya's guitar in the Amazon River, where it was eaten by crocodiles.
|24||7||Ford Focus, Mazda MX-5, Nissan 350Z, Yakovich O-MH||Viktoriya Vegova||February 19, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews the Yakovich O-MH, which can go 322 kilometers per hour. She says that this car reminds her of where she was confined when she visited the Philippines and got injured in a car accident before the Philippine Special. The hospital was the Olivarez Medical Hospital, abbreviated OMH. The Pimp drives the O-MH around the Top Gear Margovya test track in 1:31.0.
Challenge: The girls reveal themselves as certified fanatics of Cars of Margovya, the car show that came before Top Gear Margovya. They decide to make their own version of one of theshow's most popular segments, Need For Speed Margovya. To start with, each of them purchased sports cars that were actually featured in the 2004 Need For Speed installment, Need For Speed: Underground 2. Tanya buys a
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: After winning the Need For Speed Margovya challenge, Tanya celebrates by performing her version of "Jessica", the show's opening song. However, Gavrina and Maria took the guitar from her and ran it over with their Need For Speed: Underground 2 SUVs.
|25||8||Maserati Quattroporte, Khristenko D420, Lubovenko LIC55||Irina Adzhitekova||February 26, 2010|
|26||9||Lubovenko LUBO260, Pontiac GTO, Khristenko F500, Yamahova Kalinin V6||Ruma Dumayev||March 5, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews the Yamahova Kalinin V6, which was made "in her likeness" by the Yamahova Motor Corporation. The Pimp tests it in the Top Gear Margovya test track, where it posted a lap time of 1:16.0, the very first motorcycle to be tested in the Top Gear Margovya track.
News: Tanya reads the final results of the 2010 National Elections, which were held on March 1, 2010, where Gennady Elemat and Viktoriya Vegova were re-elected for the second term as president and vice president, respectively. Maria announces that her husband, Roland Tidzhomov, was successfully elected for his second term as senator, with Gavrina ridiculing her for Tidzhomov placing fourteenth (fifteen candidates are taken in) in the Senatorial Elections. Tanya completely turned the news segment into a televised political debate after she revealed that she did not vote for Maria as Arbatskaya 1st district representative, and Maria almost tackling Tanya to the ground.
Challenge Part 1: The girls reveal themselves as certified fanatics of the Margovyan Basketball Association, especially the Arbatskaya Monarchs, as Tanya reveals herself to have a crush on the team's big three, which consist of Lavrenty Mikhailov, Boris Kirilov, and
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Former President Ruma Dumayev, who was a player under the ill-fated Pontival Piranhas (although he is from Dostalinsky) until retirement from basketball before the 1995-96 season, is this episode's Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. During the interview, he talked about his basketball career, political career, and Cars of Margovya where he was among its first batch of hosts (alongside Genrikh Antonov and Anatoly Baychenko). Dumayev also talked about the tragedy of his basketball team, the Pontival Piranhas, on May 23, 1996, the first day of the 1996 MBA Finals, the season right after he retired from basketball. He said he was just lucky to have not died with his team, yet he expressed his sympathy to those who were involved in the tragedy. Dumayev drove around the Top Gear Margovya test track, where he posted a lap time of 1:44.8.
Harassing Tanya's Guitar: After winning the "basket-car" match against Maria, Tanya plays her own rendition of "Jessica" again. However, Maria took the guitar from Tanya and started dribbling it like a basketball, and passes it to Gavrina, who shoots it in a hastily erected "ring" in the studio.
Trivia: Roland Tidzhomov really is one of the big three of the Arbatskaya Monarchs, however, Tanya immediately took back what she said about Tidzhomov after Maria gave her a death glare.
|27||10||Yakovich P110, Yakovich P50, Yakovich P70, Yakovich P90||Adam Levine||March 12, 2010|
|Main Review: Tanya reviews the Yakovich P110, last car under the P series. She says that its 5.9-liter V8 engine that produces 444 hp makes it a little better than the other six cars from the P series, and almost as good as the likes of the N-O and the M57, only that the top speed is at an "unproductive" 244 km/h. The Pimp drives the P110 along the track, which records a lap time of 1:19.7. (Introduction by Maria: "Some people say that his favorite color is maroon, and that he loves the number 5, but all we know is that he's the Pimp!", to which Gavrina reacted by saying that "[she] hates the band that Maria's introduction has just resembled.")
Challenge: Gavrina wasn't sure if what Tanya said about the P110 being better than the other P series cars, so they all took one P sports car each, with Tanya driving the P50, Gavrina with the P70, and Maria with the P90 (which still contains the FN P90 she found in the trunk in the last series), while the Pimp tries to chase them through the crowded streets of Ciudad del Celebridad in a P110 disguised as a cop mobile. The Pimp managed to catch and "apprehend" Maria in a mere 50 seconds, which proves that the P110 really is better.
News: The girls proudly announce that since Top Gear Margovya is getting more and more popular, they finally released Top Gear Margovya merchandise, which include a toy version of the Reasonably Priced Car, shirts that say "Top Gear Margovya", and figurines of Tanya, Gavrina, Maria and the Pimp,
Star in a Reasonably Priced Car: Tanya and Maria tried to get Gavrina to interview their next SIARPC, but Gavrina, thinking that she just insulted another band in this episode, ran away before they can even introduce the guest, which was none other than Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine. Levine sits with Tanya and talks about his career, and Maroon 5's upcoming concert in the Amanda Viktoriyovskaya Theater. Levine drove the Crown Victoria around the track in 1:47.0.
|28||11||Adam Lambert||March 19, 2010|
|29||12||Madonna||March 26, 2010|